I Shall Bid Thee Farewell

I am retiring this blog cause Blogger sucks. All my shit is now at my new Wordpress blog and all my updates will be on that new blog, not here. Visit if you feel like finding out what I'm up to. I know you'll want to know.

And that is all. For good this time.

Old News Is Old

From New York Magazine:

On the basis of ubiquity alone, Dave Sitek continues to win this TV on the Radio hiatus. Following his own solo album and a single from Aziz Ansari's alter ego comes the news that Sitek will be playing bass and writing music for the new, as-yet-untitled Jane's Addiction album. On-and-off original bassist Eric Avery was most recently replaced by former Guns N' Roses low-end man Duff McKagan, but he's split, too, leaving the spot wide open for ... yes, Dave Sitek. Unless Tunde Adebimpe joins the Foo Fighters, this will be hard to top. [Spinner]

WHAT.THE.MOTHER.FUCK.

Why am I ALWAYS the last person to find out about these things? God DAMN!

Statement

I am not like you.

I curse, I hate, I feel with passion. I understand the importance of being educated but I also understand how one's soul needs a small dose of ditz from time to time. I don't take myself seriously, or pretend I am above the rest. I don't believe in a god, cause I don't need a reason to be alive other than my own existence and making the best of it with what little time I've been given. I have fears and I fail like everyone else, but when I do it, I do it knowing it's an inevitable part of life. I live my life with no regrets, and I am firm about this. My bad decisions have led me where I am, and for the time being, I think it's all good. I am honest and transparent, I don't hide my intentions and I say things as they are. I love and treasure the people who are important to me, and I intensely despise those who are against me. I am spontaneous and impulsive, exciting and interesting. I am strong but I can break, and I'm much frailer than you think.

I am everything you hate, yet I know you would like to be a little bit like me. I don't need to change, for I've wronged no one by being the way I am. I am not a bad person -- I only have very poor judgment. So don't fucking hate me cause you don't understand me or know me well enough to know how I operate. There are plenty of people who love me for who I am, and your disapproval does nothing to me.

Geek Girl Porn

Go here and read on if you're a girl who isn't swooning over that ugly douchebag from Twilight or a fan of Cosmopolitan.

And All that Could Have Been

Hi all. I'm taking a break from my usual everyday brooding to bring you the first official review I submitted to a magazine. Of course, it sucks so bad they didn't write back to let me know if they liked it or not, but I think it's pretty much one of the coolest reviews I've written. That says a lot about my judgment and standards, doesn't it? The album sucks a truck load of donkey dick, but I did my best to enjoy it and, much to my embarrassment, I kind of did.

Dying to Say This to You, by The Sounds

Dying to Say This to You is the sophomore album by Swedish power-pop band The Sounds. In an effort to cross over from indie to mainstream, the band delivered an album that is cohesive and spunky, with plenty of catchy elements to make it a favorite among party-fiending teenagers all across the world.

Dying to Say This to You has energy. This energy is represented in the band’s use of synths, the playfulness of the lyrics and their delivery, which found a vigorous and strong ambassador in lead singer Maja Ivarsson, and more than anything, its sass. This is, indeed, a happy record, full of colorful moments to make it memorable. Producer Jeff Saltzman did a good job in providing the band with plenty of synth-rock influence to render a truly commercial pop album. His previous work in The Killers’ Hot Fuss, and the massive success of this album should have been enough of a starting point for the Swedish new wavers to get in the right mindset.

While not a particularly huge fan of pop rock, I can’t help but noticing the strengths of this album. It is undoubtedly enjoyable, fun and cheerful. It features plenty of 80’s-evoking keyboard lines to appeal to my new wave-loving self, and at times, one can find comfort in harsh, garage-rock-style guitars and edgy vocals. Much of the band’s shortcomings are seen in their songwriting – which proves juvenile and simplistic at times – and slightly annoying overproduction.  This is not a mean record, full of anger or raw power, but it will surely put your ears at ease and take you to a sweet place – a place where you will dance non-stop and enjoy being young.

This album spawned a slew of good tracks, most represented by “Painted by Numbers”. This is, absolutely, one of the strongest tracks of the album, in which one can clearly see the band at its finest: vivacious synths, feisty delivery of vocals – reminiscent of Debbie Harry or PJ Harvey – and heavy guitar riffing.  Other standout tracks include the single “Song with a Mission,” the earnest ballad “Night After Night” and “Queen of Apology.”

Creative, spontaneous and packed full of pop sensibilities and teenage energy, Dying to Say This to You has carved out its own place in mainstream pop and my synth-loving heart.

I guess I'm not good at anything I actually feel motivated to do. Heh, that's life.

UPDATE:

Turns out, the delay was due to the fact that everyone in the magazine read my review and were discussing it and deliberating about it. And guess what? They loved it. Today, I got an email from them telling me I was hired. So there you have it, I am officially a music journalist. Er, or whatever.

Go here for more info on the magazine I will be writing for.

Bored

I'm blogging cause I am bored. Severely.

I really have no idea what to write about, but I am typing cause it's either this or the destruction of my soul little by little with tedium.

Let's write about something cool. How about Ian Curtis?

Fuck, yeah.

Such a shame he killed himself. Dude was one of the best lyricists of his generation, yet he fucking died. It kind of teaches you something. All good things come to an end. Joy Division was way too cool to die so abruptly. I know, I know, we got New Order, and that's just as good. Well, I'm pretty sure New Order would have happened anyway. There was absolutely no need for Curtis to die.

Listening to New Dawn Fades right now, and it's piercing a hole through my heart. What happened to music and when did it stop being this emotional and gut-wrenching? Where the fuck did it go?

I miss lots of things. I miss better times, and I miss Ian Curtis, even though he was already long gone when I entered this world. I miss the fact that there was a time when music made me cry. I miss when I only cried cause I wanted to.

I am seriously fucking bored. Seriously, all I need is a good topic to write about. Right now even Lady GaGa would be fine.

Grownup Living

Today I speak to you as a new person. This is the day history was made. Today I woke up as a girl and will go to bed a woman.

No, I did not lose my virginity. Not until I'm married. Kidding, that happened long ago.

Today, I bought my first car. It is absolutely perfect.

It is not a new car, as I'm not able to afford a new car just yet, but it's a good buy anyway. It's a 2006 Renault Twingo in red. The color could be way better, but what the hell. It will make my car stand out.

If you're wondering, this is what my car looks like:

SOOOOO PRETTY!

Unfortunately, I was not able to cash the check for the dealership today (Saturday), but I was able to secure my buy by giving the dealership a certified check in exchange for the car's papers. The check will be cashed Monday, and the car will be mine right away.

Sometimes it feels good to grow up. Some other times you can't help missing being thirteen. Right now it's all good.

Living in the Ice Age

Moving on is an inevitable part of life. It's hard sometimes but it is very much possible and not at all a myth. I've done it, and I'm an emotional wreck. If I could, you definitely can. All it takes is the desire to leave things buried in the past and live a little.

However, it doesn't happen if you remain stuck in the past, still reveling in the marvel of times long gone, thinking nothing will ever be as good or sweet as it all was back then. As cool as life was in the past, it can never be as cool as what the future holds for you. 

Why am I saying this? I am just kind of sick of certain people who can't get over high school. Fucking high school. I mean people who are obsessed with that period of time when they were snotty teenagers and had no concerns or worries or responsibilities. Understandable, perhaps; but not at all excusable.

It's all good, I guess. You can do whatever the fuck you want with your life and spend whatever amounts of time longing for things that are NEVER going to happen again. Just don't drag others into your mess. I didn't enjoy high school - it was hell and I am truly glad it's waaay in the past - and I don't want to relive it whatsoever. 

So, high school obsessed friend, please leave me the fuck alone. My memories of high school are not as joyful and full or rainbows as yours are, and I have no interest in staying stuck in that dreadful place. I have a future and life has lots of things in store for me, much better than a high school do over. 

Kthxbai

Tales of Mere Hatred

There's one thing I really hate: Women who think they can conquer the world with male attention.

This is not a jealous or spiteful post written out of scorn, or whatever-the-fuck-excuse people might give to explain my bitching. It's just not right and that's how it is.

As a woman, I understand perfectly one's need for attention from the opposite sex. It's like a guilty pleasure (for girls who know better than obsess with male attention) - you know it's completely useless and unnecessary, but it's more than welcome when it's given. It's good for your self esteem and doesn't hurt anybody. That's how I see it. I don't need it, or live for it, or spend copious amounts of time striving to get it.

Some women rely on it and make their lives revolve around the idea of men jacking off to them. Not me. Instead, I rely on my talents, intellect and charm to achieve what I set myself to. If I need friends, I will make them. Not by flirting my way into a clique, but by using my social skills. If I need to learn something, I do it, because I am capable and smart; I don't ask men to do it for me. I don't need men to tell me I am pretty, and I don't need to show men how pretty I am just because I can.

I understand that some women are not capable of doing some things. Some are definitely smarter than others. It's not really about how smart you are, but how you've been brought up. If you've been raised to believe you're pretty and that's all you are, then you're fucked forever, cause you really aren't. Beauty is only skin deep, but a fully developed personality and brains go a long way, you dipshits. Instead of worrying so much about drawing male attention and flirting with anything that moves and has a penis, worry about what you've accomplished in life and how. It annoys me to have to deal with women whose only talent is attracting attention from guys. It demeans all women and gives way to ugly, hurtful stereotypes that some of us would be much better off without.

Gah, I'm not bitter. I know who I am and I know I am much more than just a pretty face. I'm just overly bitchy and get annoyed easily. You guys should be used to that by now.

A Perfect Day

Heh, as much as I love complaining about my life, I think it could definitely be much worse. Like, I could have a terminal disease, be a broke(r) ass and have no friends.

I finally passed the exam for my driver's license. That means I could drive and not kill myself any time now. I also got a promotion that should bring out positive, less tedious things to my professional life. Money wise I should be doing fine enough within the next few months, I might be able to afford my own place and car and would finally detach myself from my family completely.

Life is not so bad. Then again, I've just been having a few good days. There are still problems and bullshit lying about waiting to blow up in my face. I just gotta be careful and tiptoe through all of it.

Another Year, Another Problem

Hi, it's me again, and I have another problem to talk about.

People who can't fucking grow up.

Flaws and virtues considered, I think I am a fairly immature person. I think I should mention I am only 22 years old (young?) at the time, and as such, not expected to be an expert in all things grown-up.

You know what? I am a little mature, I think. For a twenty-fucking-two year old, I have been able to fix some really deep problems that had the potential of destroying my life in the future. I was able to quit drinking for good, despite the ubiquity of alcohol in my life, and have steered away from drugs like a decent, model citizen should. I have overcome fears, traumas and inhibitions, and I think I am on my way to being a "normal" person again. I am only months away from ending a very crucial period in my life, and am already considering ideas and plans that would increase my level of maturity by at least a 30 percent. Did I mention I can drive now?

Yet I am *still* only twenty-two.

Emotional maturity is different and much more complex than it sounds, I know. I know I am not growing in this department quite like I should be, but I'm working on it, and that is mature enough for me. It's hard to become emotionally mature when you've just started living like an adult, and it's unfair of people to demand emotional maturity of someone in this condition. It is also unfair of people to put their trust and hopes on me, and expect everything to be perfect forever being aware that I am not mature enough to carry that big a weight on my shoulders.

This is, by no means, a rant or an accusation. Well, it kind of is a rant, but I rant about everything so it's really no big deal. I am too young and inexperienced for grown-up living. Life is still overwhelming for me, and I am still trying to cope with the fact that the whole world is out there and I have yet to start living. It's frightening to think that life can be caged, and bound and tied down and stored aside, even more so when it is your own life going towards that direction.

So yeah, I might have made some wrong calls in these last few months. I might have trusted my poor judgment for very important matters. I probably caused a lot of damage. I fixed it before it was too late, fortunately, and that's what matters. I once vowed to never regret, and I haven't yet. And I won't ever regret not regretting.

I guess this rant is directed at myself, or whoever. Or whoever. I am sick of not living and waiting for things to happen so I can start living. This new year, I am trying to live by a friend's coined mantra of "I will be less of a shit every day", and thus fix my idiot, little girl problems one step at a time, but for good. I think it might work. I just need to start fucking doing stuff for myself and no one else.