A Year in Bullshit

In case you haven't been tuning up lately, here's what happened this year that made it so "special":

• I quit my old horrible job and got another one that [didn't] suck. 
• I finished school.
• My big mouth got me #1 in my dean's shitlist. 
• I made great friends.
• I got in a lot of trouble.
• I went to NYC and had a great time buying lots of things.
• I saw Swans live at the Bowery Ballroom.
• I signed up for driving lessons (NEW!)
• For the first time in my life, my mother is cooking New Year's dinner. (NEW!)
• I got to a point where I was mostly stable, only to have everything crap out on me and push me back to complete and utter disaster.
• I tasted kulfi.
• I fell in love with kulfi.
• I used a CAT tool for the first time.
• I deleted my entire music collection, yet again. I'm actually very impressed with myself, cause this time I actually sent my entire hard disk drive's contents into total oblivion. My stupidity apparently knows NO bounds.
• I became inappropriate and nasty, and developed quite a crass vocabulary (via "a penis dipped in bullshit").
• Trent Reznor had a baby and released the How to Destroy Angels EP, the single most narcissistic, uncreative and self-indulgent piece of crap to be released under Reznor's name. Then he released the soundtrack for the Social Network, and THAT became the most narcissistic, uncreative and self-indulgent piece of crap ever released under his name. Sadly, I now know he won't be able to reproduce the miracle of The Fragile ever again, and I've reconciled with those feelings of frustration to find peace. On a lighter note, thanks to a friend, The Fragile has experienced an impressive revival in my music library and now I can't seem to get enough of it. Again.
• I think I might have found my new best friend.
• I bought a dildo, which I haven't used, ever.
• Lots of people died. LOTS of people. RIP all y'all.
• To my mother's joy, I gained some weight. To my joy, I have now lost it.
• I think I might have found reasons to love myself. I am getting there.
• I found the light and I know what I want to do for the rest of my life: Save the world. I now know what I want to do for my Master's: Human Rights.
• Lots of people had their naked pictures leaked online.
• I learned to control my drinking. I hardly ever drink anymore, and if I do, I do it wisely. 
• I changed my legendary iPod for a Sony Walkman mp3 player. Not sure if that was the best choice. 
• Music this year kind of sucked. It REALLY sucked. I will get on that later, when I have a little free time. 
• I learned a new, highly marketable skill: SEO.
• I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and graduation finally seems to be in the near future. 
• I found out I would be losing one of my best friends soon. :(
• Music obsessions this year: HEALTH, UNKLE, Swans (of course), Nick Drake, Concrete Blonde, HTRK, Siouxsie and the Banshees, PJ Harvey and the Once OST.
• My friends were dearly missed. I realize I neglected lots of them this year, and I plan on doing something about it in '11.
• I think this year I managed to suck a little more than the last. I will probably say this exact same thing next year.
• Lady GaGa didn't die.

Other than that, I think this year was quite ordinary. See you all in 2011 and I hope you guys are having a better time than I am. 

P.S. Tomorrow, I will upload a video of my eye here. It's easily one of the funniest things I've done all year.

*EDIT:

Welcome to North Korea

It's really frustrating when things around you start to change for the worse, and there's no way to stop it.

My job used to be cool. Very cool. Now it's like a pressure cooker and we're all stuck in it with no room to fucking breathe.

Ya know what they did? They put bans on Facebook, Twitter and Youtube so we can't log in from our computers.  So we can work and slave away and produce, produce, produce more money for a heartless owner who really doesn't give a shit about anything but himself.

Seriously, are we doing that bad that such measures need to be taken?

FAIL!

Huge Barrels of AIDS

This is going to sound too damn cliche coming from me.

I hate attention whores, fame whores, no-good sluts and anyone who's famous for doing absolutely nothing.

I believe in fairness and earning one's money the right way. The world is already unfair enough with all the genocides and wars and social inequality to be letting ordinary sluts take control of the entire planet.

Who cares what Miley Cyrus smoked on her birthday? We all know she's doomed to have a sex tape leaked on the internet soon, and her rehab stint is probably already paid for. Why is it surprising the kid is doing drugs? And why do we care she is? I bet we wouldn't care that much if it was one of our own friends doing it. We wouldn't even give a shit if we ourselves did it!

"Lindsay is my role model."

And what about Kim Kardashian's ass? I know LOTS of women with an ass just as big as hers, and I don't see them naked all over the internet. In fact, I know people whose big asses are far more talented than Kim Kardashian's will ever be, and I don't see them making big bucks for showing up at parties and blowing crusty ass dudes.

Big talent

Seriously, die already. I really hope all these girls fall into a huge pool of AIDS with their eyes wide open and go the fuck away. They really don't do anything for humanity, and the world wouldn't suffer if they were gone. Maybe lots of nerdy sociopaths will cry at the loss of their daily supply of masturbatory material, but I am pretty sure they would find a replacement soon. Hentai would be a good choice.

Thanks to my good friend Eduardo for coining the term "barrel of AIDS" and letting me use it, as well as its myriad variations. Kim Kardashian's ass is a huge barrel of AIDS.