Eulogy

I'm sorry, but I have lost all love and respect for my career. Translation and Interpretation, that is. At this point, I think it's stuipid, ridiculous and pathetic that I spent so much time fucking around with stupid translations and speeches trying to prove myself and pretend I'm talented at something. I am not. I'd rather spend my life waiting tables than translate for a living. Yes, this sounds spoiled, childish and pissy, but I don't care. I've never been completely certain about the career path I chose four years ago, and tonight, more than ever, I'm sure I made the wrong fucking choice.

I refuse to accept that, in order to be successful in life, I need to be smarter than anybody. I can't bear the idea of spending long, neverending hours in front of the computer thinking of nice-sounding ways of saying some boring, fucked up shit I could care less about. I'm ungrateful, I'm young and immature and unsure about my future. I give you that. But if being a translator/interpreter means being a stuck up, self-absorbed whiny cunt, I'd rather do something a little more dignifying with my time, like growing my own vegetables or learning to make synth music.

I know I'm unsure about a lot of things, but I know the very few I really like, and I know that won't ever change: Music, writing, learning, living and loving. I can't sacrifice any one of my few passions over something I've barely become used to. If I let myself lose one of the few things I still care for, it'll be like voluntarily jumping into a shark-infested ocean.

I don't know what I'm gonna do in the future. I don't even know if I'll be alive long enough to live in the future. All I know is, right now, I don't feel like I belong here, with any of you. Thanks for the memories, though.

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