Inspired By Vuvuzela

Once every four years, the world gets together to celebrate the biggest event in soccer, and probably sports altogether: The FIFA World Cup. This year, FIFA has chosen South Africa as the host country, making this the first African country ever to host this grand event.

Now, while I am not fully experiencing World Cup fever the way a true soccer fan should, given that my team is not participating in the World Cup, and tbh, I'm suffering from a mild case of sour grapes; I am very much a supporter of every team that sets the name of my continent high. I have rooted for Argentina (even though I hate their guts cause they really are a lousy people), Uruguay, Paraguay, Brazil and Chile. I can't explain why, but every time I hear one of them has won (and they all have, so SUCK ITTT! SOUTH AMERICA RULES!), I smile proudly like it's my own team scoring a win in the name of my country. It makes me forget about borders and conflicts and racial issues and bullshit (see Argentina) and just kick back, watch the game with friends and enjoy the moment. It's a nice feeling.

I know if you're from the United States, or just a bitter asshole, you won't understand. This is probably a South American thing. Not even -- it's a culture thing. There are only a handful of things that have the power of uniting a whole people the way soccer does in my country. I really can't think of any other off the top of my head, not even politics, not even crisis or wealth. When people watch soccer here, they're not from a region, or from a province or a town -- they're from a country, all of them. And they share the same feelings and the same emotions, and the same adrenaline courses through every single person's body. It's about national pride and honor, and in a country so fucked up by corruption and injustice, people are desperate to feel proud. Now that the world feels like one big developing country, with all the crimes and money issues and oil spills and what-have-you, it feels pretty fucking good to have a few hours to just rejoice in the guiltless pleasure of soccer, and feel proud.

So, yeah, I am pretty grateful that the World Cup exists. I should send FIFA a fruit basket thanking them for all the cocktails I've drunk and all the hookahs I've smoked and all the sushi rolls I've eaten and all the laughs I've had while watching soccer.