March 12, 2011

I Shall Bid Thee Farewell

I am retiring this blog cause Blogger sucks. All my shit is now at my new Wordpress blog and all my updates will be on that new blog, not here. Visit if you feel like finding out what I'm up to. I know you'll want to know.

And that is all. For good this time.

March 11, 2011

Old News Is Old

From New York Magazine:

On the basis of ubiquity alone, Dave Sitek continues to win this TV on the Radio hiatus. Following his own solo album and a single from Aziz Ansari's alter ego comes the news that Sitek will be playing bass and writing music for the new, as-yet-untitled Jane's Addiction album. On-and-off original bassist Eric Avery was most recently replaced by former Guns N' Roses low-end man Duff McKagan, but he's split, too, leaving the spot wide open for ... yes, Dave Sitek. Unless Tunde Adebimpe joins the Foo Fighters, this will be hard to top. [Spinner]

WHAT.THE.MOTHER.FUCK.

Why am I ALWAYS the last person to find out about these things? God DAMN!

Statement

I am not like you.

I curse, I hate, I feel with passion. I understand the importance of being educated but I also understand how one's soul needs a small dose of ditz from time to time. I don't take myself seriously, or pretend I am above the rest. I don't believe in a god, cause I don't need a reason to be alive other than my own existence and making the best of it with what little time I've been given. I have fears and I fail like everyone else, but when I do it, I do it knowing it's an inevitable part of life. I live my life with no regrets, and I am firm about this. My bad decisions have led me where I am, and for the time being, I think it's all good. I am honest and transparent, I don't hide my intentions and I say things as they are. I love and treasure the people who are important to me, and I intensely despise those who are against me. I am spontaneous and impulsive, exciting and interesting. I am strong but I can break, and I'm much frailer than you think.

I am everything you hate, yet I know you would like to be a little bit like me. I don't need to change, for I've wronged no one by being the way I am. I am not a bad person -- I only have very poor judgment. So don't fucking hate me cause you don't understand me or know me well enough to know how I operate. There are plenty of people who love me for who I am, and your disapproval does nothing to me.

March 1, 2011

Geek Girl Porn



Go here and read on if you're a girl who isn't swooning over that ugly douchebag from Twilight or a fan of Cosmopolitan.

February 24, 2011

And All that Could Have Been

Hi all. I'm taking a break from my usual everyday brooding to bring you the first official review I submitted to a magazine. Of course, it sucks so bad they didn't write back to let me know if they liked it or not, but I think it's pretty much one of the coolest reviews I've written. That says a lot about my judgment and standards, doesn't it? The album sucks a truck load of donkey dick, but I did my best to enjoy it and, much to my embarrassment, I kind of did.



Dying to Say This to You, by The Sounds


Dying to Say This to You is the sophomore album by Swedish power-pop band The Sounds. In an effort to cross over from indie to mainstream, the band delivered an album that is cohesive and spunky, with plenty of catchy elements to make it a favorite among party-fiending teenagers all across the world.
Dying to Say This to You has energy. This energy is represented in the band’s use of synths, the playfulness of the lyrics and their delivery, which found a vigorous and strong ambassador in lead singer Maja Ivarsson, and more than anything, its sass. This is, indeed, a happy record, full of colorful moments to make it memorable. Producer Jeff Saltzman did a good job in providing the band with plenty of synth-rock influence to render a truly commercial pop album. His previous work in The Killers’ Hot Fuss, and the massive success of this album should have been enough of a starting point for the Swedish new wavers to get in the right mindset.
While not a particularly huge fan of pop rock, I can’t help but noticing the strengths of this album. It is undoubtedly enjoyable, fun and cheerful. It features plenty of 80’s-evoking keyboard lines to appeal to my new wave-loving self, and at times, one can find comfort in harsh, garage-rock-style guitars and edgy vocals. Much of the band’s shortcomings are seen in their songwriting – which proves juvenile and simplistic at times – and slightly annoying overproduction.  This is not a mean record, full of anger or raw power, but it will surely put your ears at ease and take you to a sweet place – a place where you will dance non-stop and enjoy being young.
This album spawned a slew of good tracks, most represented by “Painted by Numbers”. This is, absolutely, one of the strongest tracks of the album, in which one can clearly see the band at its finest: vivacious synths, feisty delivery of vocals – reminiscent of Debbie Harry or PJ Harvey – and heavy guitar riffing.  Other standout tracks include the single “Song with a Mission,” the earnest ballad “Night After Night” and “Queen of Apology.”
Creative, spontaneous and packed full of pop sensibilities and teenage energy, Dying to Say This to You has carved out its own place in mainstream pop and my synth-loving heart.


I guess I'm not good at anything I actually feel motivated to do. Heh, that's life.

UPDATE:

Turns out, the delay was due to the fact that everyone in the magazine read my review and were discussing it and deliberating about it. And guess what? They loved it. Today, I got an email from them telling me I was hired. So there you have it, I am officially a music journalist. Er, or whatever.

Go here for more info on the magazine I will be writing for.

February 21, 2011

Bored

I'm blogging cause I am bored. Severely.

I really have no idea what to write about, but I am typing cause it's either this or the destruction of my soul little by little with tedium.

Let's write about something cool. How about Ian Curtis?

Fuck, yeah.

Such a shame he killed himself. Dude was one of the best lyricists of his generation, yet he fucking died. It kind of teaches you something. All good things come to an end. Joy Division was way too cool to die so abruptly. I know, I know, we got New Order, and that's just as good. Well, I'm pretty sure New Order would have happened anyway. There was absolutely no need for Curtis to die.

Listening to New Dawn Fades right now, and it's piercing a hole through my heart. What happened to music and when did it stop being this emotional and gut-wrenching? Where the fuck did it go?

I miss lots of things. I miss better times, and I miss Ian Curtis, even though he was already long gone when I entered this world. I miss the fact that there was a time when music made me cry. I miss when I only cried cause I wanted to.

I am seriously fucking bored. Seriously, all I need is a good topic to write about. Right now even Lady GaGa would be fine.

February 12, 2011

Grownup Living

Today I speak to you as a new person. This is the day history was made. Today I woke up as a girl and will go to bed a woman.

No, I did not lose my virginity. Not until I'm married. Kidding, that happened long ago.

Today, I bought my first car. It is absolutely perfect.

It is not a new car, as I'm not able to afford a new car just yet, but it's a good buy anyway. It's a 2006 Renault Twingo in red. The color could be way better, but what the hell. It will make my car stand out.

If you're wondering, this is what my car looks like:



SOOOOO PRETTY!

Unfortunately, I was not able to cash the check for the dealership today (Saturday), but I was able to secure my buy by giving the dealership a certified check in exchange for the car's papers. The check will be cashed Monday, and the car will be mine right away.

Sometimes it feels good to grow up. Some other times you can't help missing being thirteen. Right now it's all good.

February 6, 2011

Living in the Ice Age

Moving on is an inevitable part of life. It's hard sometimes but it is very much possible and not at all a myth. I've done it, and I'm an emotional wreck. If I could, you definitely can. All it takes is the desire to leave things buried in the past and live a little.

However, it doesn't happen if you remain stuck in the past, still reveling in the marvel of times long gone, thinking nothing will ever be as good or sweet as it all was back then. As cool as life was in the past, it can never be as cool as what the future holds for you. 

Why am I saying this? I am just kind of sick of certain people who can't get over high school. Fucking high school. I mean people who are obsessed with that period of time when they were snotty teenagers and had no concerns or worries or responsibilities. Understandable, perhaps; but not at all excusable.

It's all good, I guess. You can do whatever the fuck you want with your life and spend whatever amounts of time longing for things that are NEVER going to happen again. Just don't drag others into your mess. I didn't enjoy high school - it was hell and I am truly glad it's waaay in the past - and I don't want to relive it whatsoever. 

So, high school obsessed friend, please leave me the fuck alone. My memories of high school are not as joyful and full or rainbows as yours are, and I have no interest in staying stuck in that dreadful place. I have a future and life has lots of things in store for me, much better than a high school do over. 

Kthxbai

February 5, 2011

Tales of Mere Hatred

There's one thing I really hate: Women who think they can conquer the world with male attention.

This is not a jealous or spiteful post written out of scorn, or whatever-the-fuck-excuse people might give to explain my bitching. It's just not right and that's how it is.

As a woman, I understand perfectly one's need for attention from the opposite sex. It's like a guilty pleasure (for girls who know better than obsess with male attention) - you know it's completely useless and unnecessary, but it's more than welcome when it's given. It's good for your self esteem and doesn't hurt anybody. That's how I see it. I don't need it, or live for it, or spend copious amounts of time striving to get it.

Some women rely on it and make their lives revolve around the idea of men jacking off to them. Not me. Instead, I rely on my talents, intellect and charm to achieve what I set myself to. If I need friends, I will make them. Not by flirting my way into a clique, but by using my social skills. If I need to learn something, I do it, because I am capable and smart; I don't ask men to do it for me. I don't need men to tell me I am pretty, and I don't need to show men how pretty I am just because I can.

I understand that some women are not capable of doing some things. Some are definitely smarter than others. It's not really about how smart you are, but how you've been brought up. If you've been raised to believe you're pretty and that's all you are, then you're fucked forever, cause you really aren't. Beauty is only skin deep, but a fully developed personality and brains go a long way, you dipshits. Instead of worrying so much about drawing male attention and flirting with anything that moves and has a penis, worry about what you've accomplished in life and how. It annoys me to have to deal with women whose only talent is attracting attention from guys. It demeans all women and gives way to ugly, hurtful stereotypes that some of us would be much better off without.

Gah, I'm not bitter. I know who I am and I know I am much more than just a pretty face. I'm just overly bitchy and get annoyed easily. You guys should be used to that by now.

February 4, 2011

A Perfect Day

Heh, as much as I love complaining about my life, I think it could definitely be much worse. Like, I could have a terminal disease, be a broke(r) ass and have no friends.

I finally passed the exam for my driver's license. That means I could drive and not kill myself any time now. I also got a promotion that should bring out positive, less tedious things to my professional life. Money wise I should be doing fine enough within the next few months, I might be able to afford my own place and car and would finally detach myself from my family completely.

Life is not so bad. Then again, I've just been having a few good days. There are still problems and bullshit lying about waiting to blow up in my face. I just gotta be careful and tiptoe through all of it.

January 16, 2011

Another Year, Another Problem

Hi, it's me again, and I have another problem to talk about.

People who can't fucking grow up.

Flaws and virtues considered, I think I am a fairly immature person. I think I should mention I am only 22 years old (young?) at the time, and as such, not expected to be an expert in all things grown-up.

You know what? I am a little mature, I think. For a twenty-fucking-two year old, I have been able to fix some really deep problems that had the potential of destroying my life in the future. I was able to quit drinking for good, despite the ubiquity of alcohol in my life, and have steered away from drugs like a decent, model citizen should. I have overcome fears, traumas and inhibitions, and I think I am on my way to being a "normal" person again. I am only months away from ending a very crucial period in my life, and am already considering ideas and plans that would increase my level of maturity by at least a 30 percent. Did I mention I can drive now?

Yet I am *still* only twenty-two.

Emotional maturity is different and much more complex than it sounds, I know. I know I am not growing in this department quite like I should be, but I'm working on it, and that is mature enough for me. It's hard to become emotionally mature when you've just started living like an adult, and it's unfair of people to demand emotional maturity of someone in this condition. It is also unfair of people to put their trust and hopes on me, and expect everything to be perfect forever being aware that I am not mature enough to carry that big a weight on my shoulders.

This is, by no means, a rant or an accusation. Well, it kind of is a rant, but I rant about everything so it's really no big deal. I am too young and inexperienced for grown-up living. Life is still overwhelming for me, and I am still trying to cope with the fact that the whole world is out there and I have yet to start living. It's frightening to think that life can be caged, and bound and tied down and stored aside, even more so when it is your own life going towards that direction.

So yeah, I might have made some wrong calls in these last few months. I might have trusted my poor judgment for very important matters. I probably caused a lot of damage. I fixed it before it was too late, fortunately, and that's what matters. I once vowed to never regret, and I haven't yet. And I won't ever regret not regretting.

I guess this rant is directed at myself, or whoever. Or whoever. I am sick of not living and waiting for things to happen so I can start living. This new year, I am trying to live by a friend's coined mantra of "I will be less of a shit every day", and thus fix my idiot, little girl problems one step at a time, but for good. I think it might work. I just need to start fucking doing stuff for myself and no one else.

December 30, 2010

A Year in Bullshit

In case you haven't been tuning up lately, here's what happened this year that made it so "special":

  • I quit my old horrible job and got another one that [didn't] suck. 
  • I finished school.
  • My big mouth got me #1 in my dean's shitlist. 
  • I made great friends.
  • I got in a lot of trouble.
  • I went to NYC and had a great time buying lots of things.
  • I saw Swans live at the Bowery Ballroom.
  • I signed up for driving lessons (NEW!)
  • For the first time in my life, my mother is cooking New Year's dinner. (NEW!)
  • I got to a point where I was mostly stable, only to have everything crap out on me and push me back to complete and utter disaster.
  • I tasted kulfi.
  • I fell in love with kulfi.
  • I used a CAT tool for the first time.
  • I deleted my entire music collection, yet again. I'm actually very impressed with myself, cause this time I actually sent my entire hard disk drive's contents into total oblivion. My stupidity apparently knows NO bounds.
  • I became inappropriate and nasty, and developed quite a crass vocabulary (via "a penis dipped in bullshit").
  • Trent Reznor had a baby and released the How to Destroy Angels EP, the single most narcissistic, uncreative and self-indulgent piece of crap to be released under Reznor's name. Then he released the soundtrack for the Social Network, and THAT became the most narcissistic, uncreative and self-indulgent piece of crap ever released under his name. Sadly, I now know he won't be able to reproduce the miracle of The Fragile ever again, and I've reconciled with those feelings of frustration to find peace. On a lighter note, thanks to a friend, The Fragile has experienced an impressive revival in my music library and now I can't seem to get enough of it. Again.
  • I think I might have found my new best friend.
  • I bought a dildo, which I haven't used, ever.
  • Lots of people died. LOTS of people. RIP all y'all.
  • To my mother's joy, I gained some weight. To my joy, I have now lost it.
  • I think I might have found reasons to love myself. I am getting there.
  • I found the light and I know what I want to do for the rest of my life: Save the world. I now know what I want to do for my Master's: Human Rights.
  • Lots of people had their naked pictures leaked online.
  • I learned to control my drinking. I hardly ever drink anymore, and if I do, I do it wisely. 
  • I changed my legendary iPod for a Sony Walkman mp3 player. Not sure if that was the best choice. 
  • Music this year kind of sucked. It REALLY sucked. I will get on that later, when I have a little free time. 
  • I learned a new, highly marketable skill: SEO.
  • I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and graduation finally seems to be in the near future. 
  • I found out I would be losing one of my best friends soon. :(
  • Music obsessions this year: HEALTH, UNKLE, Swans (of course), Nick Drake, Concrete Blonde, HTRK, Siouxsie and the Banshees, PJ Harvey and the Once OST.
  • My friends were dearly missed. I realize I neglected lots of them this year, and I plan on doing something about it in '11.
  • I think this year I managed to suck a little more than the last. I will probably say this exact same thing next year.
  • Lady GaGa didn't die.
Other than that, I think this year was quite ordinary. See you all in 2011 and I hope you guys are having a better time than I am. 

P.S. Tomorrow, I will upload a video of my eye here. It's easily one of the funniest things I've done all year.


*EDIT:











December 17, 2010

Welcome to North Korea

It's really frustrating when things around you start to change for the worse, and there's no way to stop it.

My job used to be cool. Very cool. Now it's like a pressure cooker and we're all stuck in it with no room to fucking breathe.

Ya know what they did? They put bans on Facebook, Twitter and Youtube so we can't log in from our computers.  So we can work and slave away and produce, produce, produce more money for a heartless owner who really doesn't give a shit about anything but himself.

Seriously, are we doing that bad that such measures need to be taken?

FAIL!

December 13, 2010

Huge Barrels of AIDS

This is going to sound too damn cliche coming from me.

I hate attention whores, fame whores, no-good sluts and anyone who's famous for doing absolutely nothing.

I believe in fairness and earning one's money the right way. The world is already unfair enough with all the genocides and wars and social inequality to be letting ordinary sluts take control of the entire planet.

Who cares what Miley Cyrus smoked on her birthday? We all know she's doomed to have a sex tape leaked on the internet soon, and her rehab stint is probably already paid for. Why is it surprising the kid is doing drugs? And why do we care she is? I bet we wouldn't care that much if it was one of our own friends doing it. We wouldn't even give a shit if we ourselves did it!


"Lindsay is my role model."

And what about Kim Kardashian's ass? I know LOTS of women with an ass just as big as hers, and I don't see them naked all over the internet. In fact, I know people whose big asses are far more talented than Kim Kardashian's will ever be, and I don't see them making big bucks for showing up at parties and blowing crusty ass dudes.

Big talent


Seriously, die already. I really hope all these girls fall into a huge pool of AIDS with their eyes wide open and go the fuck away. They really don't do anything for humanity, and the world wouldn't suffer if they were gone. Maybe lots of nerdy sociopaths will cry at the loss of their daily supply of masturbatory material, but I am pretty sure they would find a replacement soon. Hentai would be a good choice.

Thanks to my good friend Eduardo for coining the term "barrel of AIDS" and letting me use it, as well as its myriad variations. Kim Kardashian's ass is a huge barrel of AIDS. 

November 27, 2010

I Am NOT a Social Butterfly!

INFP - "Questor". High capacity for caring. Emotional face to the world. High sense of honor derived from internal values. 4.4% of total population.
Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)




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Now playing: My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult - Rivers Of Blood, Years Of Darkness
via FoxyTunes

November 7, 2010

Future Perfect

Lately I've been thinking about the future in ways I never had before. I guess that's what happens when you grow up. Even though the core of my interests and goals has remained more or less the same, I've been re-prioritizing ideas and shifting focus from one set of plans to another. And as this has been taking place, new ideas and interests have begun to emerge. Everything is changing and I've been stuck in a changeless world way too long to know how to take it. So, I've decided to write down a list of things I want to do, careers I'd like to pursue, plans I'd like to carry out and dreams I'd like to fulfill in the near and not-so-near future, so I can go back to it and remind myself of what I once wanted, if I ever forget it. I won't bother to sort them in order of importance because I'd spend much longer trying to figure that out than my life allows me to give to one single blog post.

  1. Get a Master's degree in human development/human rights/human-related issues: I've been struggling with career issues for the last 10 years, and I've finally found something I feel absolutely passionate about.
  2. Study fashion design: Won't take me long. I don't need a degree, just need to know that I can do it.
  3. Become a radio DJ: I might be prepared to do the job. I might.
  4. Move to New York City: I really don't need to explain this.
  5. Become a human rights activist: Closely related to point #1, I'd like to start here.
  6. Open my own tea shop: I'm pretty sure it's the one business I wouldn't get bored of.
  7. Learn how to drive: This is happening soon, I promise. Serious. (fingers crossed)
  8. Travel to Asia: I figured, if I am one of the very few people who wouldn't mind taking a six-connection flight, I am bound to fly everywhere the wind blows. I plan on traveling the ENTIRE world, including Antarctica, but I'll start with Asia because they have wonderful tea. When in Asia, I plan on going to Iran too, JSYK.
  9. Learn how to play the drums: It seems like the obvious thing to do, right? If I love music, I should play an instrument. I chose the drums cause they are badass.
  10. Live in Norway: I love Scandinavia. If I could marry a country, I would become polygamous and marry all three Scandinavian countries. I wish all countries were like them.
  11. Have three dogs: I already have one, but because of space restrictions, I can't get more. Hope this changes soon.
  12. Have a small, powerful laptop: I know I can find one, I just need to look further.
  13. Be smart: I know school won't make you smart, but I think it can help me a great deal. A Ph.D wouldn't be too bad.
  14. GRADUATE!!!: This is priority #1 right now. Until I can cross this out of the list, I will not be happy. This needs to happen next year.
  15. Write something worthwhile and get paid for it: It's not about the money, but the satisfaction of knowing my writing is worth a damn.

That seems to be pretty much all for now. I will update this periodically if any new interests shall come up. I'm sure, if I manage to do at least five things on this list, I'll be happy.

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Now playing: Warpaint - Set Your Arms Down
via FoxyTunes

October 25, 2010

If I Could Bring Them Back to Life, I'd...

Lately I've been thinking about the importance for bands to be touring periodically. Other than mere finance matters, bands need to tour to feed their fans with the appropriate fix of live music every once in a while to keep themselves vital and fresh in the music world. Some bands are able to keep the tour thing going for a while, even long after they've broken up and parted ways, because of course, money doesn't grow on trees. Some others play the "reunion" thing and stage a completely bullshit-filled "reformation" only so they can sell lots of tickets. For extra impact, some bands do the "farewell tour" thing, or something to that effect. And some other bands, usually the really awesome ones, never really tour, and if they do or ever did, it is/was impossible for me to attend their shows.

There are a few bands I wish I could bring back from band demise heaven, or hope their asses go broke so they can stage a fucking reunion tour and let me see them live. (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!)

Joy Division: Given. I just had to say it. Poor Ian killed himself way too early in the game. I'm pretty sure, had he stayed alive, he would have stopped touring a long time ago. From what I've heard, their live shows weren't exactly awesome, but the band was just too fucking legendary to miss.

Video bonus: Transmission and She's Lost Control ('79)

Dead Can Dance: My sources tell me there might be a reunion tour in '11, as well as a new album. Definitely a must. Can't bring myself to say anything bad about Lisa Gerrard or Brendan Perry, even though she's a Bible nut and he's a drunk. Oops.

Video bonus: Cantara ('94)

Morphine: Great band whose promising career came to an abrupt end after the lead singer's death onstage in '97. Wish I'd been at their very last show. That would make a great story to tell my grandchildren.

Video bonus: Buena ('90)

The Beatles: BAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Video bonus: [insert widely overrated Beatles song here]

Concrete Blonde: Currently on tour in Australia. Played some shows in the US before that to celebrate the 20th anniversary of Bloodletting, and of course, I was not there while this was happening. With my luck, the band will get into a nasty, Bernard-Sumner-versus-Peter-Hook kind of fight and will hate each other so much they won't ever, ever, ever play together again, not even in hell.

Video bonus: Heal It Up ('10)

Bauhaus: Reformed for like a minute in '08 but didn't tour cause Peter Murphy is such a little drama queen. I'm not sure how good the show would be now that they're all old and balding but I like the music enough to give them a shot.

Video bonus: Bela Lugosi's Dead ('82)

Xmal Deutschland: A huge fan of pretty much all their work, including their poppy last album, I wish I'd been old enough to see them back in the 80's when they were touring. Instead, I got to grow up in the '90s and endure endless plays of Smells Like Teen Spirit on the radio and Oasis shows in every city on the planet. Life sucks.

Video bonus: Polarlicht ('85)

A Perfect Circle: There's like a gazillion rumors of a possible reunion tour/album, but nothing concrete to keep the spark of hope alive. Until I see Maynard James Keenan and Billy Howerdel off their lazy half naked asses onstage playing Passive, I will consider them as dead and long gone. As a bonus, I saw a tweet by Danny Lohner today where he mentioned that APC were rehearsing. One can only hope.

Video bonus: Sleeping Beauty ('00)

Every other post punk/goth/new wave/synthpop/industrial band that was playing shows in the late '70s-early '80s and no longer is: I'm sure Cabaret Voltaire, The Birthday Party, Coil and Fad Gadget were all such a trip live. I was born in the wrong era, sadly, and these bands are no longer playing. God hates me. He doesn't exist and he still hates me. That's how much he hates me.

Video bonus: Cabarer Voltaire - Kino ('86)

Siouxsie and the Banshees: I know they are already included in the above, but I had to write a separate entry for them because they are not just a post punk/goth/new wave/synthpop/industrial band in my eyes, but one of the most inspirational and uncompromised acts in the post punk era. I still can't get over how SUPERB Nocturne is. Makes me wonder how utterly fantastic they were live.

Video bonus: Sin in My Heart ('81) and Israel with Robert Smith ('83)

Cocteau Twins: Are they included in the post punk/goth/new wave/synthpop/industrial band category? Yes? No? Fuck. I miss them dearly. Liz Fraser is... ahem, interesting.

Video bonus: Musette and Drums ('83)

Angels of Light: Their future is uncertain. With Gira reforming Swans and touring with them for a new album, the Angels of Light have been placed in the very flattering backburner until Gira decides that Swans are Dead (again) and goes back to his more acoustic and melancholic venture. Their catalog has a lot of powerful, deeply disturbing songs that I wish I could see performed in a live setting and find out if that way they'd still make me cry.

Video bonus: Nations ('01)

Lard: Jello Biafra needs to stop touring with the Dead Kennedys, get Al Jourgensen out of his coffin and reform Lard. No offense to DK, but Lard has its moments. And I'm pretty sure the Biafra-Jourgensen combo is a machine onstage.

Video bonus: Forkboy ('04)

Option 30: The dance. Oh my god, the dance. I wouldn't even care if they played Justin Bieber backwards over a crazy Tibetan chant, as long as I got to see Trent do the little dance and wear the little outfits. Then again, I don't think that look would be too becoming on present-day Trent Reznor. I liked him better when he was just a little punk doing his little dance and playing bad Police-influenced new wave.

Video bonus: Gotta Look Sharp (circa '85)

Any Krautrock band (even Faust, which is a little ew sometimes): I bet they were the shit back in the day when there was nothing really interesting going on other than mainstream Pink Floyd (meh) and underground bands like Silver Apples (less meh). I really admire the work of some of these bands, and if I could go back in time for a day or two, I'd go to '72 and buy a hipster vinyl of the freshly released Ege Bamyasi.

Video bonus: Can - Vitamin C ('72)

Brainiac: Another band that didn't get to fade away into mediocrity like every other band because of the death of its lead singer. I was really hooked on this band a few years ago. It was actually one of the first electropunk bands I actually liked. Maybe I liked them cause they sounded too punk rock to be electronic. I can only imagine the kind of crazy AWESOME shows they played... *sigh*

Video bonus: To the Baby Counter ('94)

Sometimes I really don't like being young.

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Now playing: Have A Nice Life - Bloodhail
via FoxyTunes


October 19, 2010

Boring and Expected Swans Show Review

Hello dear friends. I am back from a joyful and very relaxing 2 week quasi-vacation in NYC and life is good. My lovely bf and I had a wonderful time in the city (though I probably had a better time than he did, cause I shopped a lot), and one of the highlights of our stay in NY was that we were able to see Swans live.

For those of you unfamiliar with the band, Swans are one of the most important and influential bands to come out of the famous No Wave era in New York. This was back in 1982. They remained together and released many albums -- though with a different musical direction -- throughout the '80s and most of the '90s, until they disbanded in 1997. Band leader Michael Gira then took on several other projects as a solo artist, producer and member of other bands, until he announced in 2010 that the band would reunite for a new album and tour.

My boyfriend and I are both avid Swans fans, and this announcement was very pleasant for us to learn. We had been talking about spending some time in New York City before finding out about the tour, but nothing had been formally planned. One day, my boyfriend surprised me with two tickets to the Swans' show at NYC's Bowery Ballroom on Oct. 9, 2010, and immediately, our plans were made.


Most people who know Swans and/or have heard any of their live albums are aware of the incredibly loud performances they put on. I was aware of this, but given the extent and diversity of the Swans' catalog, my fears of a sound-induced coma were dispelled. Of course, I was expecting a warm, rather mellow show that encompassed every aspect of Swans, from their harsh beginnings to their softer, more melodic and rather romantic works. And of course, I was punched in the face when everything I expected was soon shattered into a million tiny pieces. I am not saying, under any circumstances, that this was a bad show, or that I am unhappy with the setlist. I will explain in detail later, but first things first: the opening act.

Opening acts are usually hit or miss with the crowd. For any band, picking an opening act that personifies the future of music in a good way and also carries on the values of the headliner is a rather difficult task. Truth is, the audience is there to see the headliner, and the opener is just an added bonus that the audience could do well without, in most cases. There might be cases where the opening act is just as relevant to the audience as a headliner, but that would usually happen on a person-to-person basis rather than as a whole. I know I haven't attended a show where I was more interested in seeing the openers than the headliners, although I do recall a situation where that could be applied, and I talked about that briefly here. In my case, and my boyfriend's case as well, we were not very enthused about seeing Baby Dee open for Swans.


We were both surprisingly content with Baby Dee's set. The music was simple -- just a violin and a cello accompanying Dee's voice and harp playing -- and the lyrics were crazy, with a sense of depth and good humor at times. Both musicians in her band were very skilled, and played gracefully to her half-sung-half-recited lyrics.


Her set was not very long, but it was a nice one. If anything, it gave me some expectations for the show. If a lo-fi, acoustic act opened for Swans, then Swans would play their more recent, less brutally noisy stuff... Wrong.

They kicked off the set with like 10 minutes of really loud feedback. I mean really loud. It was so loud, even some of the diehard Swans fans started to put on earplugs. Then Thor Harris, of Shearwater (and carpentry) fame, came out to play the chimes in the back over the deep layers of feedback.


The rest of the band, including Michael Gira and two extra brass players came out to join in on the noise, playing their instruments as hard as humanly possible. At this point, I am pretty sure blood came out from inside my ears. I was in pain, but it was a good kind of pain.


Remember what I mentioned earlier about my expectations for this show? The band played deconstructed and prolonged versions of early songs and songs from their new album, My Father Will Guide Me Up a Rope to the Sky.


Getting to the venue early allowed us to secure a spot on the first row. We were standing on the left, so we were right in front of Christoph Hahn and Thor, who was in the back. Gira kept most of the show facing away from the audience, and turning to the right, so most of the pictures I have of him are of his ass, like the one above. I didn't have the best view of the rest of the band who were on my right, so I have very few pictures of Norman Westberg, Phil Puleo (whose picture I couldn't take at all), or bassist Chris Pravdica. At least Hahn posed for a few of my pictures, as shown below.

This was before he (and the rest of the band) took off their shirts. Ahem, moving on...

Highlights of the show were a long and loud instrumental solo mid setlist, and the incredible Beautiful Child, from one of my favorite Swans albums, Children of God. After Eden Prison, a song from their latest album, the band thanked the audience and retreated. A minute later they came back for the encore -- a sweet spoken-word kind of number called Little Mouth, which Gira affectionately dedicated to his wife and Angels of Light bandmate, Siobhan Duffy.

The band thanked the audience one last time, sent guitar picks and drumsticks out to the crowd as souvenirs and posed for pictures as they left. I was able to snap a pretty awesome picture of Thor as he posed for the audience. Gira also makes a nice appearance on the right.


I also got some little souvenirs of my own.


The show was incredible, and we both enjoyed it a lot. The noise cruelly raped my ears with the fury of a depraved maniac, but at least I was able to recover my hearing within the next couple of days.

Every Swans fan should get the chance to see this show. Really, it was too good for words. The whole band showed an incredible amount of skill on the set, and it was very amusing to see them give it their all onstage, despite the fact that they are well into their fifties now. As a suggestion, I would tell them to keep their shirts on for the next shows, but a few saggy tummies were easy to bear with when they gave us such great music. I should post a pic of me wearing the Swans t-shirt I got at the show. Here's the full setlist, in case you were wondering.



In the following days, my boyfriend found a slew of pictures and videos where, unfortunately, we are featured. Here's a screencap from someone's video, where I elegantly highlighted my face and my boyfriend's head, for extra convenience.



You can watch a some videos from the show if you click on this dandy playlist assembled by my bf.




Just to make this review extra professional and journalistic, here's a pic of me and my bf on the train. <3


It actually hurt to try to write a serious review. I will continue with my usual blathering and cursing from now on. Sorry for this momentary lapse of politeness.

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