Old News Is Old

From New York Magazine:

On the basis of ubiquity alone, Dave Sitek continues to win this TV on the Radio hiatus. Following his own solo album and a single from Aziz Ansari's alter ego comes the news that Sitek will be playing bass and writing music for the new, as-yet-untitled Jane's Addiction album. On-and-off original bassist Eric Avery was most recently replaced by former Guns N' Roses low-end man Duff McKagan, but he's split, too, leaving the spot wide open for ... yes, Dave Sitek. Unless Tunde Adebimpe joins the Foo Fighters, this will be hard to top. [Spinner]

WHAT.THE.MOTHER.FUCK.

Why am I ALWAYS the last person to find out about these things? God DAMN!

And All that Could Have Been

Hi all. I'm taking a break from my usual everyday brooding to bring you the first official review I submitted to a magazine. Of course, it sucks so bad they didn't write back to let me know if they liked it or not, but I think it's pretty much one of the coolest reviews I've written. That says a lot about my judgment and standards, doesn't it? The album sucks a truck load of donkey dick, but I did my best to enjoy it and, much to my embarrassment, I kind of did.

Dying to Say This to You, by The Sounds

Dying to Say This to You is the sophomore album by Swedish power-pop band The Sounds. In an effort to cross over from indie to mainstream, the band delivered an album that is cohesive and spunky, with plenty of catchy elements to make it a favorite among party-fiending teenagers all across the world.

Dying to Say This to You has energy. This energy is represented in the band’s use of synths, the playfulness of the lyrics and their delivery, which found a vigorous and strong ambassador in lead singer Maja Ivarsson, and more than anything, its sass. This is, indeed, a happy record, full of colorful moments to make it memorable. Producer Jeff Saltzman did a good job in providing the band with plenty of synth-rock influence to render a truly commercial pop album. His previous work in The Killers’ Hot Fuss, and the massive success of this album should have been enough of a starting point for the Swedish new wavers to get in the right mindset.

While not a particularly huge fan of pop rock, I can’t help but noticing the strengths of this album. It is undoubtedly enjoyable, fun and cheerful. It features plenty of 80’s-evoking keyboard lines to appeal to my new wave-loving self, and at times, one can find comfort in harsh, garage-rock-style guitars and edgy vocals. Much of the band’s shortcomings are seen in their songwriting – which proves juvenile and simplistic at times – and slightly annoying overproduction.  This is not a mean record, full of anger or raw power, but it will surely put your ears at ease and take you to a sweet place – a place where you will dance non-stop and enjoy being young.

This album spawned a slew of good tracks, most represented by “Painted by Numbers”. This is, absolutely, one of the strongest tracks of the album, in which one can clearly see the band at its finest: vivacious synths, feisty delivery of vocals – reminiscent of Debbie Harry or PJ Harvey – and heavy guitar riffing.  Other standout tracks include the single “Song with a Mission,” the earnest ballad “Night After Night” and “Queen of Apology.”

Creative, spontaneous and packed full of pop sensibilities and teenage energy, Dying to Say This to You has carved out its own place in mainstream pop and my synth-loving heart.

I guess I'm not good at anything I actually feel motivated to do. Heh, that's life.

UPDATE:

Turns out, the delay was due to the fact that everyone in the magazine read my review and were discussing it and deliberating about it. And guess what? They loved it. Today, I got an email from them telling me I was hired. So there you have it, I am officially a music journalist. Er, or whatever.

Go here for more info on the magazine I will be writing for.

Black Humor

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Now playing: Autolux - Census
via FoxyTunes

Oh Dear God, It's Out!

How to Destroy Angels, the new musical project by former NIN megalomaniac Trent Reznor, and his bitches Mariqueen Maandig (Maandig-Reznor, in case we all forget she’s the dude’s wife) and Atticus Ross, released its debut EP for free on June 1^st. Being the obsessive HTDA fangirl that I am, I actually waited up until 12 am on the first day of June to get my copy of the first installment of the “unstoppable force of greatness”, aka Trent Reznor’s new non NIN-related, NIN-sounding project. You know me, I just can’t resist a piece of outstanding new music. Naturally, like I’ve done for the last couple of years since I started this stupid blog, my first instinct upon finding such poignant piece of artistry was writing books worth of praise about it. Because that’s the least it deserves.

However, due to the unfortunate fact that I am a terrible, highly inappropriate person, I will not do so. Instead, I will proceed to be a horrible bitch and give the album the internet equivalent to a million wedgies. Not because I want to, or because it deserves it, but because I suck.

(From Wikipedia)

No.	Title	Length
1.	"The Space in Between"	3:35
2.	"Parasite"	5:05
3.	"Fur Lined"	4:00
4.	"BBB"	3:31
5.	"The Believers"	5:36
6.	"A Drowning"	7:04

First off, I think I should thank Trent Reznor for giving us all the chance to listen to his unstoppable new EP for free, because he is so generous and thinks about his poor, unfortunate fans who could not afford his new music (even though we all know it’s priceless). Thanks to Trent’s giving personality, I was able to download the HTDA EP in high quality and with pretty color artwork and didn’t pay a cent for it. He definitely saved me the hassle of looking it up on Filestube, so thank you again, Mr. Reznor, for saving me 30 seconds of my precious time.

Ok, let’s get a little serious here. Remember what I said about the HTDA EP on this blog post? Well, I am so happy to announce that no retractions will ever be written, because, as always, I was right; which is excellent because I don’t like being wrong. The EP turned out EXACTLY like I thought it would. Ahem, I hate to say this but IT SUCKS!!! IT SUCKS AS MUCH DICK AS KIM KARDASHIAN AND PARIS HILTON TOGETHER! *does victory dance*

Okay, okay, we’re being serious, remember? While I admit HTDA is about as bad as summer school, I guess I’m not surprised it sucked. Maybe because my expectations were pretty low already before the EP came out. There are worse things than summer school, like watching your parents having sex. Maybe it’s not that the EP necessarily sucks, but that I’m used to different, more creative stuff from Trent Reznor. Not saying that the dude hasn’t made a faux pas in his 21 year-long career, ever; but rather that even his worst was at least decent. For comparison, give With Teeth a spin, and then listen to HTDA. You’ll find that even Getting Smaller has more substance than the whole EP together.

I’m not going to make up some flowery Pitchfork-esque review, because I’m not a pretentious asshole and don’t have enough time to devote to Trent Reznor anymore, so I’ll just be honest and as blunt as ever. This sounds like NIN scraps with tedious autotuned vocals and butthurt lyrics. Whoever says that’s not true can suck it. I know I already talked about the NIN comparisons, but it’s hard not to think about them when every single song sounds like a remix of a previously released NIN song. Being a NIN fan, I should be happy about that, but I think fans deserve a little more respect than that if they’re going to be introduced to music they’ll potentially buy. Especially since THIS IS NOT NIN!

I don’t want to be mean, though. That is so not my purpose in life (lol, it actually is). There are few elements in the EP that I’ve grown to enjoy, not because they display talent or range, but simply because they've “grown on me”. Last night, while giving HTDA a good thorough listen in order to review it, I mentioned to my boyfriend that I was starting to like the opening bars to “The Space in Between”, much to his dismay. He thinks that beat almost as annoying as the vocals, but surprisingly, I sort of like it, for the first 10 seconds. I suppose that is because it reminds me of one my favorite songs, nearLY’s “All Is Lost”. Just then I realized this song really tries to emulate the mood evoked by the aforementioned song, but fails, miserably. Furthermore, if we note the fact that the vocals for "All Is Lost" are performed by Claude Sarne, wife of HTDA "member" Atticus Ross, and that Mariqueen's voice tries really hard to imitate Sarne's in this song, the comparisons become a little more apparent. Ripoff number one. I also almost enjoyed the song “Parasite”, because the intro drumming sounded pretty cool. Then I realized it sounds a lot like “The Beginning of the End” from Year Zero, which in turn, ahem, borrows heavily from The Knack’s 1979’s hit song “My Sharona”. Ripoff number two. I could keep at this forever.

Three songs in, and I’m starting to get bored and, quite honestly, a little pissed off. I haven’t really mentioned Mariqueen Reznor’s involvement in this EP yet because I didn’t want to come off as a jealous, hateful bitch, but I am morally bound to now, because I just cannot let another abomination like “Fur Lined” be produced ever again. Whoever thinks this woman can sing is probably in dire need of a CAT scan. My dog’s barks sound better than her voice. This song, in particular, displays just how fucking annoying her voice can be. At least she was trying a little in the two previous tracks. This song takes elements from “Only” from With Teeth, “Echoplex” and “Discipline” from The Slip, and that’s about the most interesting thing you can say about it. Lyrically, all three songs sound like a 13 year old Brokencyde fan riding the shortbus wrote them. Then, I would have no reason to bitch because we all know being a Brokencyde fan fucks up your brain to the point of total and complete destruction, but I’m sure neither Trent nor Mariqueen (I’m going to assume “Fur Lined” was written by Mariqueen, since that’s what Trent wants us all to believe, and this song isn’t as emo as “A Drowning” or “The Space in Between”) are into crunkcore. Though maybe they are, in which case, I should offer them my sincerest apologies.

Fourth song: “BBB”. Another gem I’m sure was written by Mariqueen. Who else but a shoe-aholic would write so eloquently about boots? Big Black Boots, to be precise. I really dislike this song. I imagine this is some crappy Year Zero outtake that Trent left behind because he knew better back then, that he pulled out of the crappy YZ outtakes folder on his Mac, and then (Mariqueen) added that line about the boots for extra impact. Well, someone should tell them that Year Zero is so '07 now and that Art is Resistance bullshit is so passé. If they thought this song would be the new “Hyperpower!”, they should have noticed “Hyperpower!”had no dumb lyrics, and that’s what made it so good.

“The Believers”, or “The Kiddie Marimba Song”, like I call it, is the third “single” from the EP, and it was the first song to really make me want to flog someone with a broomstick. Of all the six songs, this is the most unoriginal one, which really sucks cause it boasts a reputation for being innovative and original and funky. Braaaaahhhhhhhhh! Ghosts references all over it, a raped and taken apart “The Greater Good” most clearly on display under layers of Nintendo sounds and breathy, uninteresting vocals is what this song has to offer as far as innovation. News flash, Reznor: You already did that whole Nintendo thing in “The Great Destroyer”, and the only reason it worked there is because the music was worth more than five cents, and your voice doesn’t suck.

I’m not even gonna comment on the last song, because I already gave my opinion about it and it hasn’t changed one bit. If anything, I now have way harsher things to say about it, but I won’t because I am nice. Instead, I’m going to leave you with the first video ever by HTDA, “The Space in Between”.

See how Trent is, like, rubbing his awesome wife in our faces? Because apparently, it doesn’t matter how awesome HE thinks she is (which we all know he does), if the world doesn’t buy it, he won’t be happy. Such a mature point of view.

I think, instead of trying to convince the world that his wife is talented by writing lyrics and giving her credit for them, making her play the unbelievably easy synth parts in all the songs and putting her in the foreground in every promo shot, Trent Reznor should just give up and take a break or go back to Nine Inch Nails. I bet we’d have been a little more forgiving about this entire clusterfuck if it’d been released as NIN, with no agenda, no pretentiousness or fanfare. Just give up, Trent. We all know she’s just as bad as we all thought she was at the beginning, no need to start a new band just to showcase her (non-existent) musical ability.

Fuck this shit, I’m gonna listen to some Joy Division to see if I can undo the damage I've inflicted upon my ears. Or maybe I should listen to some Brokencyde. Hmmm…

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Now playing: Terranova - No Peace
via FoxyTunes

On Education and Insanity

"Concern". This was the subject for an email I got from my dean last Friday. "Concern over some strong, gross comments I'd made regarding my school, the T&I department and everyone in it" last Thursday with a couple of friends. I guess you can say my opinions were very strong and uncalled for, but of all the things I've learned in my twenty one years of life, shutting up isn't one of them. So I dropped a couple angry bombs, one even literal, and ranted on about how much everything sucks and how I want to kill everyone, etc. You know, the usual angry stuff you say when you're pissed off/joking with your friends. What, you don't say that? Ok, I guess it's just me then.

Right now I think I pretty much made myself look like an asshole here, so I guess I should explain in full the circumstances under which I made such inappropriate comments. It's rather long and retarded, so whoever is reading should just sit down and grab a cup of tea or something.

As some people may know (most may not), I finished school in March. Okay, not really finished forever, but rather finished with my curriculum and awaiting the formal stuff you need in this country in order to graduate (graduation seminars, thesis, final T&I exams, Spanish proficiency exam, ice cream trip with my T&I classmates, etc.). I have been waiting for an answer as to when this wonderful stuff is gonna start happening practically all year, but hadn't bothered to ask because I had been busy one way or another, either with school or work, to actually think about it. But last week I did think about it and I got a little depressed. I felt hopeless and alone in this quest for enlightenment, and the only one to blame was my dean.

You see, the way the system works in my school, they can't open graduation seminars for less than 15 people. This wouldn't be a problem if I'd studied something normal like Economics or Law, or what-have-you, but not me. I'm never normal. I studied Translation and Interpretation, the best, most awesome major in the entire world, with the grand total of 50 students enrolled in its program. Of these 50 people, only 6, including myself, are advanced and close to graduation. And as it turns out, the people who are ready to graduate (3, myself included) have to wait for the others who are not quite ready yet, so we can all take the seminars together, cause sadly, they can't open seminars for only three students. Ya following here? Guess I'm not so much of an asshole now, am I? Well, wait, cause the best part is yet to come.

Enters the government and its fucked up nature. In 2008 a new education bill was drafted, and it stirred up some trouble, as it literally destroyed the country's entire educational system. Not sure if it's already in full effect, but it would appear so as every school is going nuts over it and students are already rioting about it. One of its main points of focus is the addition of credits to every major's curriculum. We're not talking about 10 more credits or any of that easy stuff. No, we're talking about 80 credits, give or take. Even though all government institutions clearly stated from the beginning that this law would not be retroactive, meaning it would never affect people like me and my T&I group, my school has taken upon itself the arduous task of making students miserable over the new Education Bill. That means that everyone who is about to graduate, well won't anymore, unless they take more subjects following the new curriculum and accumulate more credits.

My dean met with us a few times last year to discuss the new adjustments made to the old curricula. The evil Education Bill had pretty much destroyed my old '06 curriculum. Some of the subjects I'd taken no longer existed! But here's the cool part: Since me and my five T&I friends were already pretty close to graduation, she insisted we kept taking the classes we needed according to our initial curricula, and then, as an option, take extra courses to either get a minor or just to take classes for the sake of it and get credits for them. She explained in detail she would give us credits for practice hours, our graduation seminars/thesis/graduation exams, plus some other stuff that, if added up, gave us the desired number of 225 credits we all need now, supposedly.

So I did this. I did exactly what she said I should do. I took about 8 extra classes and, according to the dean's recommendations, I should be fine, right? Hell, with all those things she said she would give us all credits for, we were all ready to go. WRONG!

So this is where we fast forward to last week. I emailed the dean at 3 am asking her what had happened to the seminars and if she had an answer for me because, naturally, I was getting a little impatient. She replied first thing in the morning saying she was working on it, counting all my credits and adjusting them to the new curriculum, and she would give me an answer soon. And then, as typical of her, a slew of emails followed, vaguely explaining that we all needed to take extra courses because, as it turns out, the horrible, horrible Education Bill had changed yet again, and we were all short of credits. Ack. She summoned us up to a meeting on Thursday to discuss the new changes that had been made to our poor curriculum and to talk about the "great new classes she had available for us".

Ok, so the meeting with the dean went pretty much like this:

Dean: Ok, you guys need to take about 8 more subjects cause the Ministry says I can't give you credits for the seminars/thesis/exams.

Students: :O :O :O

Dean: But don't worry cause I have some great new courses for you! I'm bringing professors from Hunter College and Spain and some other great people and this is gonna be good for you!

Cat: But hey, wait a minute, I had all the credits I needed, I don't need any more courses!

Dean: Oh hey, well I don't know about that but you must have miscounted. So anyway...

Cat: No, no, look, here! I have enough credits, see?

Dean: Oh, oops! I guess I should work on that again, cause it seems I made a whoopsie and didn't adapt these 5 courses on the new curriculum. Don't worry, I'll work on that. But the rest of you guys have to take 8 more classes, otherwise you can't graduate.

Student 1: I want to kill myself.

Cat: And what about me, what do I do if I have all the credits I need?

Dean: Oh, you wait for the rest to finish taking classes and then you take the seminars with them.

*FACEPALM*

So this is when the insanity starts. I made these comments I mentioned above in my usual campy, un-serious way, in the company of close friends who understand my situation. And yes, this is when I said "I wanted to beat the living shit out of everyone at this school, cause everything is fucking bullshit and I'm sick of this fucking stupid school, hahahaha!". Yes, it's pretty bad, but dude... I'd just been told I would graduate in 2078! Whatever.

Now I don't know exactly how she found out, but she did, cause next thing I know, the dean is emailing me about how inappropriate and unprofessional I am and how disappointed she is in me and how much I suck. Yeah, yeah. Not only that, but she bothered to CC EVERYONE in the department, including professors who don't even work at the school anymore! She also sent hate emails to my friends telling them practically the same thing she told me in the first email. I obviously replied telling her that these comments were made in an informal, private setting, and they should not be taken literally, because they just express the anger of the moment over a very difficult situation I'm being put through. She replied saying I can't be two people at the same time and if this is how I am with my friends, this is how I am everywhere else. So basically, I'm an awful person. Horrible.

Dude, seriously. Cut the crap. Anyone with a little common sense would understand these comments were NOT serious and I do not want to beat them all up. And what's up with the massive CCing?! I mean, she's trying to ruin my reputation here! In all my years at school, I have had a clean record, a 4.0 GPA, several awards for outstanding academic achievement, and countless opportunities to prove myself and how capable I am, and she just ruined that for some stupid comments I made when I was angry? I know it was my fault, but come on, you can't be serious about this. Now, I don't know how I'm going to fix this, but it seems to me like such idiotic, square bullshit. Sorry to be crass, but this is how it is. If a person who gave the impression of being wise beyond her years, educated, understanding and experienced comes and gives you and your academic history the finger over some silly immature comments you made UNDER EXTREMELY DIFFICULT CIRCUMSTANCES, then they don't deserve to be in that position, you know? And why try to ruin my reputation in the whole department? These are people who knew me and talked to me as friends, not as professors. How can I not be outraged if she's singlehandedly putting me at the top of everyone's shitlist including hers! So now I'm depressed, blackballed and hopeless.

I'm sorry, maybe I'm wrong here and she's right. I'd like to think some of my argument is right though, cause if it isn't, then the world is more fucked up than I thought. At this point, I don't care if they love me or hate me, I just want to graduate. I hope the dean understands that she ruined every single plan I had after graduation, and I am losing my head over it. I guess she doesn't, otherwise this wouldn't have ever happened.


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Now playing: Alva Noto - Prototype 5
via FoxyTunes

WIN!!!

see more funny facebook stuff!

LOL idiots are so awesome!


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Now playing: False Jesii - Let's Hear It For Love
via FoxyTunes

Writing this Blog...

... Only so I can see it show up here.

LOL.



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Now playing: Dios - Tell Me Thing
via FoxyTunes

How You Can Get on My Nerves

One: Believe it or not, I have opinions, thoughts and urges. If you ask me my opinion about something, you'll get an answer. You might not like it sometimes. So deal with it and move on. Simple as that. Cause if you keep pushing it, I'll have some seriously evil thoughts about you, and if you still don't get it and keep fucking picking at it, I'll have the urge to fucking kill you. We don't want that, do we?

I'm not saying I'm a meatheaded bastard who can't accept different points of view. On the contrary, I am very open and respectful towards everyone's opinions regarding all matters. But, just as I respect everyone's opinions equally, I expect the same sort of respect towards my own. If I don't get it, I'll have a problem with you.

Two: I am intense about my opinions. I like debating cause I win 90 percent of the time. So, if you push my buttons and keep fucking bothering me, I'll most likely get intense. Intensity is not the same as aggressiveness. It's just my way of defending myself and my opinions which most likely weren't respected. So don't expect me to be nice to you if you've been bothering me and violating my right to free speech.

Three: I avoid arguing cause it's a waste of my time. So if I argued with you, I was either bored and had nothing better to do, or amused by you and your silly shit. So thank you either way.

That's it.


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Now playing: The Dead Texan - Glen's Goo
via FoxyTunes

Procrastination 101

So The Knife got back together and released a (as-of-yet-unreleased) new album (which was conveniently leaked this week), cause I asked them to and they love me so much they just did it.


THIS:

Listening...

Listening...

I am bored.

I am not liking this.

I am underwhelmed.

Sorry, my uneducated musically-disabled ears are allergic to ambient. This sounds a lot like ambient, though I really think they wanted to have people scratching their heads at this and created the totally groundbreaking WTF genre, cause it tries hard to sound experimental/drone/glitch/ambient, but it ends up sounding just weird (for the most part). Sorry, Dreijers. :(

My bet is, Karin let Olof off the leash and near the computer. Bad, bad idea, Karin.

(If only it was this easy for me to write about shit that matters... then I should have no need to procrastinate. I feel out of breath and trapped when I'm working on something that's difficult and words escape me. Then I procrastinate, like I am right now).

By the way, I reserve my right to write a retraction to the opinions hereby expressed.

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Now playing: The Knife - Variation of Birds (OH MY GOD, this track literally made my comp freeze. What the FUUUUU???)
via FoxyTunes