Just Learned How to Do This

Now you can like my posts on Facebook. Or not. Just trying this out.



Three People

• I know a person who hates everything I love and loves everything I hate. This person tries to justify bad taste with bitchy, opinionated pieces of verbal attack toward those who disagree. This person thinks having feelings and problems is gay.

Verdict: This person sucks and should therefore be thrown into the sun.

I will cut you off, bitch. Shut the fuck up. For the record, I LOVE Arcade Fire.

• I know a person who is a lazy, shameless little twat who really needs to learn a thing or two about office manners and hygiene. This person believes that burgers and meddling are the way to make friends.

Verdict: This person needs to stop watching soap operas and using up bandwidth when everyone is busy. Also, this person needs to have the crap police raid their cubicle.

Dear lord, if you want to make friends, just be yourself. Right, I forgot yourself is annoying.

• I know a person who polarizes me. I can't explain it. Wrong topic.

Verdict: Good thing they're gone.

Fuck.

I really hate people and I really love people. Sometimes I think a person will be the death of me, not cancer.



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Now playing: Nine Inch Nails - Sanctified
via FoxyTunes

Los Hombres Son Mal Llevados, Sufridores y Ridiculos

It’s no secret I hate men. Some more than others, some less than others. Sometimes I don’t so much hate them as feel sorry for them and how utterly evil they are. There’s one guy I don’t hate, because he’s gone to great lengths to prove how incredible and completely different he is from all the other guys out there. I really love him. I will always love him, even if I die, or if he dies.

 

So there you go. You got that? I HATE MEN! I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND! I DON’T LOVE YOU! I NEVER LOVED YOU! Please let me know if I need to spell it out for you. This incessant bugging, the feeling of still being attached to you makes me miserable. I need you out of my life. I thought you already were. So quit bothering me with your glorified bullshit, and don’t try to act like you ever gave a shit about me, or anything.

 

So fuck you. If you feel you lost out on something great, think again. I suck. But someone loves me for who I am, even if I suck – something you couldn’t ever do. Sorry for your loss, but not really.

Now piss the fuck off.

 

Now Playing: Nine Inch Nails - Live at Wiltern Theater, LA [2009-10-09] - I Die: You Die

I Am Morbid

Tonight I joked about killing myself. Twice. I wasn't one-hundred percent joking, to be honest. Just talking under the influence of pain and sugary sour tequila. A friend told me she would hang me from my nipples if I ever dared kill myself. It was all a joke. We both laughed, then we cried, then we laughed again.

I was joking.

Except I wasn't joking.

It's so hard to tell the difference between joke and fact, sometimes I get caught up in my own fantasies and forget how I really feel. Maybe I really was joking. Maybe she really would hang me from my nipples.

Sometimes I wonder how I can joke so lightly about suicide when it's such a serious and sometimes touchy issue to me. I don't even know which part of me jokes and which part of me feels affected by the jokes. I am a morbid person and I will never change. Maybe I do want to kill myself, and that'll be the end of my morbidity.

I make people uncomfortable sometimes. I make myself uncomfortable many times. Maybe the key to my happiness lies in me being morbid and being able to stop it. I really don't understand.

I do have a good heart.

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Now playing: Arcade Fire - Ready To Start
via FoxyTunes

I Own a T-Shirt Now

This. Mine. Thank you, boyfriend. I love you.


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Now playing: Siouxsie and the Banshees - Monitor
via FoxyTunes

Black Humor

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Now playing: Autolux - Census
via FoxyTunes

Eulogy

I'm sorry, but I have lost all love and respect for my career. Translation and Interpretation, that is. At this point, I think it's stuipid, ridiculous and pathetic that I spent so much time fucking around with stupid translations and speeches trying to prove myself and pretend I'm talented at something. I am not. I'd rather spend my life waiting tables than translate for a living. Yes, this sounds spoiled, childish and pissy, but I don't care. I've never been completely certain about the career path I chose four years ago, and tonight, more than ever, I'm sure I made the wrong fucking choice.

I refuse to accept that, in order to be successful in life, I need to be smarter than anybody. I can't bear the idea of spending long, neverending hours in front of the computer thinking of nice-sounding ways of saying some boring, fucked up shit I could care less about. I'm ungrateful, I'm young and immature and unsure about my future. I give you that. But if being a translator/interpreter means being a stuck up, self-absorbed whiny cunt, I'd rather do something a little more dignifying with my time, like growing my own vegetables or learning to make synth music.

I know I'm unsure about a lot of things, but I know the very few I really like, and I know that won't ever change: Music, writing, learning, living and loving. I can't sacrifice any one of my few passions over something I've barely become used to. If I let myself lose one of the few things I still care for, it'll be like voluntarily jumping into a shark-infested ocean.

I don't know what I'm gonna do in the future. I don't even know if I'll be alive long enough to live in the future. All I know is, right now, I don't feel like I belong here, with any of you. Thanks for the memories, though.

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Now playing: Delorean - Seasun
via FoxyTunes