Los Hombres Son Mal Llevados, Sufridores y Ridiculos

It’s no secret I hate men. Some more than others, some less than others. Sometimes I don’t so much hate them as feel sorry for them and how utterly evil they are. There’s one guy I don’t hate, because he’s gone to great lengths to prove how incredible and completely different he is from all the other guys out there. I really love him. I will always love him, even if I die, or if he dies.

 

So there you go. You got that? I HATE MEN! I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND! I DON’T LOVE YOU! I NEVER LOVED YOU! Please let me know if I need to spell it out for you. This incessant bugging, the feeling of still being attached to you makes me miserable. I need you out of my life. I thought you already were. So quit bothering me with your glorified bullshit, and don’t try to act like you ever gave a shit about me, or anything.

 

So fuck you. If you feel you lost out on something great, think again. I suck. But someone loves me for who I am, even if I suck – something you couldn’t ever do. Sorry for your loss, but not really.

Now piss the fuck off.

 

Now Playing: Nine Inch Nails - Live at Wiltern Theater, LA [2009-10-09] - I Die: You Die

I Am Morbid

Tonight I joked about killing myself. Twice. I wasn't one-hundred percent joking, to be honest. Just talking under the influence of pain and sugary sour tequila. A friend told me she would hang me from my nipples if I ever dared kill myself. It was all a joke. We both laughed, then we cried, then we laughed again.

I was joking.

Except I wasn't joking.

It's so hard to tell the difference between joke and fact, sometimes I get caught up in my own fantasies and forget how I really feel. Maybe I really was joking. Maybe she really would hang me from my nipples.

Sometimes I wonder how I can joke so lightly about suicide when it's such a serious and sometimes touchy issue to me. I don't even know which part of me jokes and which part of me feels affected by the jokes. I am a morbid person and I will never change. Maybe I do want to kill myself, and that'll be the end of my morbidity.

I make people uncomfortable sometimes. I make myself uncomfortable many times. Maybe the key to my happiness lies in me being morbid and being able to stop it. I really don't understand.

I do have a good heart.

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Now playing: Arcade Fire - Ready To Start
via FoxyTunes

I Own a T-Shirt Now

This. Mine. Thank you, boyfriend. I love you.


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Now playing: Siouxsie and the Banshees - Monitor
via FoxyTunes